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sg1 poke

Life Officially Shits

I finally got the results and, yes it is malignant. I am numb and angry and scared and yet hopeful. Weird combination there. I have an appointment with the breast surgeon on Monday and everyone is giving me advice that I don't want at the moment. You see I don't have just one mom, I have legions--I grew up with my parent's friends as my relatives because my mother is a holocaust survivor and my father's family is just too strange for words. So, today I have legions of "mothers" and "aunts" all calling and giving me advice about second opinions and such. (word spreads fast in this community *g*.) I guess everyone means well. My friends are wonderful and the scaper community is amazingly warm. I think that it is that warmth along with my rl friends that will pull me through this garbage on to the other side.

Thanks to everyone for their wishes and hopes.

Now, if I could just figure out how to work with my real mother and keep her at arm's length but let her feel useful, that would be an accomplishment. I think this worrying about logistics and her feelings is wearing me out more than worry about myself. In addition, hubby is in the throws (sp?) of job search and he twists and turns in his decisions and it drives me crazy. We are loosing our health insurance in April which is shitty. So he is feeling much pressure to finish his job search (he's getting help from a career coach thank heavens). I just have to keep him on task when he gets scared. I have big shoulders.

The girls haven't quite processed the changes in family life that are coming, but that's ok. My oldest with her social disabilities will be problematical. I just have to keep my mother off her back and teach her quietly how to take more responsibility for herself so that I can relax and get through all the radiation and surgical dren. My younger daughter will do fine. D works much better with them than I do--we'll muddle through even though the house looks like a hurricane hit it. I'm not perfect at this house wife stuff anyway at the best of times.

I got the Hercules Season 2 DVD set and it is much fun. I am loosing myself in Ken Sorbo and my fangirl crush on Michael Hurst. Keeps my mind off stuff.

I wish I had more work.

Comments

You know I'm here in the only way that I know. I love ya girl. *hugs*

I am loosing myself in Ken Sorbo and my fangirl crush on Michael Hurst.

Yeah, Hurst is a hottie isn't he? *g* Reminds me of this little surfer dude I dated 10 years ago. But I think it's more of the fact that for Hercules, they allowed him to show his acting ability more than Sorbo.(who was a distant second to Hurst)
Ouch! Hang tough there (I think that's an Oz expression). I'm thinking the good thoughts for you and your family.

*throws arms around ixchup and hugs her mightily*

First let me be the master of the obvious and say that sucks. Now let me say that you caught it and that's what's important. Now you know and now you can start making plans and working things out so you will have the chance to take care of you. And that is the most important thing, you. You are you're first priority don't forget that. Everyone one else will just have to cope because you need time for you. Don't feel that you have to be in control all the time, you don't and don't feel the need to apologize if you do blow. It's normal and it's allowed. Having gone through this with two Aunts, it seems that what helped them is the reward/goal for when it was all over. They treated themselves to something they normally wouldn't do. It gave them something to smile about on those bad days.

*hugs ixchup again* We're here if you need to rant and rave or if you need a serious giggle. I'm sending lots of good vibes your way.

Thanks you to all

You know, I never knew what family could be like until I joined this community. You all are the warmest, greatest, most amazing group of people I have ever known. I am really shattered at the moment and you buck me up with your support, strength, shear friendship.

All I can say is thank you.

I'll get through this and I am the richer for your thoughts and friendship.
There's really no adequate response to that kind of thing, except to offer virtual hugs and comfort and support say that our thoughts will be with you!!
I can't hope to make it all understandable, but please know that my thoughts are with you. Of course you don't even know me but judging by your posts you are pretty damn strong. I think that is what will get you by. I am also glad that you have the family and support that you will need.
I , for one , look forward to the stories that you have yet to tell us.
Suenix