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sg1 poke

Different Day, Same Old Things

Hair falling out in clumps--H. tied a red bandana on my head because it is cold in the back, but I felt silly. I am just not a hat wearer. I have to get used to this. Not bald enough for wig but really really scruffy today. sigh. Having company tonight. What to do? Learn quick how to wear a scarf without feeling self-conscious.

I'm intrigued by this week's drabble challenge, soooo...



What's the Neighborhood Coming To?



Mrs. Kravitz always prided herself in knowing about the goings on in her neighborhood. Somebody had to do it.

This morning she was startled by new activity at the Carson house next door. She continued to watch from her kitchen window as the costumed figures moved around, shadows on the opposing window shades.

"That house has caused nothing but trouble. First it's that Poor White Trash that lived there and never considered the rest of the neighbors with their messes, screaming all night long, that awful drumming and caterwauling, and all such rot. Then, good riddance to them and who should move in, but kids and more noise, beer and trash, drug deals in the night and you never knew if you were going to be murdered in your bed. And now what is this?"

Mrs. Kravitz decided to call her friend Gladys who lived on the other side of THAT house, when she spied a strange sight. There in the carport stood a figure in a terribly bright mini-dress. "Orange and Red are definitely her wrong colors!" thought Mrs. K as she continued to stare out her window at the apparition. Red stockings and gloves completed the girl's outfit. "Halloween, my foot," thought Mrs. Kravitz. "We can't have this here. Who are these people?" The door banged behind her polyester-clothed back as Mrs. K went to confront her new neighbor.

The girl with the strange grey continence and white hair that looked like straw as it fell over her deep black eyes looked up at Mrs. K and proceeded to salute her with the middle finger emphatically. Mrs. K stood rooted to the spot as the girl proceeded to repeat the gesture in her face. "How dare you!" Mrs. K shouted after the girl as she disappeared around the dead bushes.

"This was just wrong," Mrs. K thought, as she knocked firmly on the Carson's side door. "Wait 'til I tell Gladys about this. We need to collect petitions, form Neighborhood Watch groups. This just can't continue. It is bad enough that that astronaut family lives here with the press ringing doorbells in the middle of the night and their incessant questions. We have a peaceful neighborhood. We don't need these things. What is it with kids these days, anyway? I bet this has to do with Jack Crichton's wild boy. I just know it." Mrs. K continued her internal soliloquy as the most beautiful woman she had ever seen answered the door. Mrs. K had a difficult time closing her mouth as she starred rudely at the tall black-haired woman in the midriff outfit. "That is definitely out of fashion," she thought somewhat sillily as she collected her wits and brushed her way past the woman and rushed into the abandoned house.

"Mother-of-God!" Mrs. Kravitz shouted and crossed herself as she stared at the mess inside the dusty living-room. The TV was blaring Sesame Street as the aging hippies sat around obviously doing drugs and eating and living in squalor in her neighborhood. The tall woman in the Cher costume tried to explain their intrusion, but Mrs. K knew better. She just knew what was going on in that den of iniquity. She slammed the door on her way out. She would call the police. She would finally get them to condemn that awful place and make sure it stayed condemned. Just watch her!

Mrs. Kravitz sighed deeply as she finished telling Gladys of her adventure and how brave she had been to confront huge Kermit the Frog toys, old dirty women in bandanas, and the other weirdnesses this Halloween. Gladys agreed with her that the neighborhood was going to Hell and that Florida's finest would take care. It was good that Mrs. Kravitz looked out for the neighborhood.



Christine Lavin - Beau Woes and Other Problems of Modern Life - Summer Weddings

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