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sg1 poke

Reworked story

cathy1967 reviewed this story (bless her heart) and gave me some excellent pointers. So I am revising it. This is in response to a challenge on Kansas by Brian612 to figure out what Aeryn and John would have said to each other had they had the chance in Natural Election.




A Private Talk

Rated: G

Acknowledgements: Thanks Cathy for reviewing this thing. No other betas were hurt in the writing.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just borrow the characters to play.

___________________________

AERYN

Can I speak to you?

( smiling )

Quite a few things I'd like to say.

JOHN

There's a lot of things I'd like to hear.

( beat )

I'd like to offer you a drink, but...



Those eyes slip from hers to her waistline and back again. She tilts her head a bit, indicating direction.

AERYN

My quarters.



____________



Aeryn turned away from John and marched rapidly down Moya's corridor. She didn't see John glance once more at the front view screen and down at his new failure. He shook his head as he slowly closed the book. He could have sworn he sensed the bubble...



He stretched his shoulders to relieve the tension in his neck and heard it crack in response. He had no exercises to relieve the anxiety. Things were never easy.



As he slowly strolled out of the Command Center, his eyes were riveted on Aeryn's back, but his thoughts continued to review his equations. God, he could smell them, but why couldn't he predict them? Shivering, he realized that his obsession was again getting the better of him. He truly had to get wormholes out of his mind, but what was the alternative, Aeryn? He sighed at the coming conversation. Would he hear the truth and could he bear it? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.



Aeryn increased her pace to put some distance between herself and John. She had to do this. She had to get this out in the open. There never was a good time. Would he listen? Could she explain to him just how different their two species were? He was so preoccupied, so driven. Aeryn surreptitiously twisted her neck to catch a glimpse of John as he strolled up behind and then rolled her head to relieve the pressure in her neck that had built up. She heard it crack and felt some relief. She wished it would be as easy to re-connect with this stubborn man.



John met Aeryn at the door to her cell. He pulled open the privacy curtain to allow her to pass and then dropped it down behind himself as he slowly entered her quarters. They looked as spartan as ever. Everything in its place. Is this what Aeryn wanted? To put him in his place? John sat down on the floor and leaned back against Moya's bulkhead. Aeryn sat quietly beside him, her knees close, but not touching his.



Aeryn cleared her throat and heard the echo in John and smiled at him. He gave her a small smile in return, acknowledging how in synch they always seemed to be. Aeryn looked down at her hands and gave her head an abrupt shake. Looking directly into John's expectant face, she stated carefully, "John, I didn't tell you about the baby because I needed to know who the father was."



John looked startled at Aeryn's abrupt jump into the center of the chaos that was their relationship. "Honest, and to the point, that's my Aeryn," John said as he looked down at his hands. "So, the daddy has to be the other me, right? Why is that so difficult to acknowledge? I could have handled that. But you didn't trust me enough to tell me. Why tell me now?"



"John, you aren't hearing me. I do not know who the baby's father is. I need to remind you of something. I am not human."



"Aeryn, you reminded me of that every day of the monens you were gone on Talyn with him. If you were human you couldn't have done that, wouldn't have abandoned me, shouldn't have abandoned me. I wish you were human sometimes. Humans I can understand. You? I don't know anymore."



"Listen to me, I don't know who the father is because this fetus is not yet viable. When a female peacekeeper soldier is fertile it would be disastrous for her platoon if she conceived. So, female soldiers who are not slated for procreation services carry their fetuses in stasis. We can carry these unborn babies for up to seven cycles and produce viable offspring once the stasis is released by a surgeon. It is the only way to ensure the safety of our regiments. Imagine if you had pregnant females, how could they fight. Thus, this fetus I am carrying could have been conceived..."



"Before I met you," John finished her sentence while staring incredulously at her serious face. "God, Aeryn. When did you find out? Were you ever going to tell me that you were carrying a child?"

Aeryn looked up at John but couldn't meet his eyes. "I didn't find out about the pregnancy until the Command Carrier. I had no idea I was carrying."

"And you couldn't tell me then?" John tapped his fingers on the floor in a staccato rhythm that was soon matched by his toes as he tried to work out the timing. "God, I was all mixed up with Scorpy and wormhole tech and that dren. We never had a chance..." John's thoughts rambled as he tried to suck up his guilt. "All she had was Crais and memories," beating himself over the head with the final meeting in the steam room. He had been so thick-headed. Pushed her away.

"There was no correct time," Aeryn stated bitterly.

John mumbled, "There is never any correct time with us."

"You and your frelling wormhole tech. I hate it. It just causes nothing but grief."

"Grief, yeah, grief and glory," John said. "Yet, it was all I had left. I told you I couldn't stand the in-between times, Aeryn. Wormhole tech or you. You left me. There was no choice."

"John, while I was away I had time to think. A lot. I am going to have this baby. I- I need this baby. It feels like tomorrow. Frell!" Aeryn reached out blindly and grabbed his hand from off his knee.

"Even if it is from yesterday?" John was floored by the changes in his soldier girl. Here she was telling him that no matter who the father was she was going to raise a child. John smiled wistfully and shook his head. He let her hold his hand, but did not grasp back. "Damn, Aeryn Sun, poster girl for Pro-Life!"

"I needed time. I needed to figure out what I wanted. I just needed to be free of all this dren," Aeryn looked down at her hand that still grasped his, and whispered, "So I left."



"So you left," John looked at her hand in his and squeezed it so hard that her fingers turned white. Realizing what he had done, he pressed it against his lips, whispering, "Oh, Aeryn. If we could roll up the past six monens and throw them away I would. But we can't and shouldn't."

"No, we can't change the past. Even if we wanted to. And I don't want to. You have frelled up my life, John Crichton, but I want to keep the memories. Of you, of him."

"Aeryn, good. Keep the memories, just don't shut me out. I can't live with it. I have told you that."

John glanced down at the white elegant fingers of Aeryn's hand that still grasped his. He noted the rough calluses that scratched against his palm where her pulse weapons had worn a path. He absent-mindedly rubbed his thumb back and forth against her knuckles which were red and raw in places. Her nails were cracked and dry. She had been through a lot while she was away. But so had he. He cleared his throat trying to express his pain in a way she would understand.

"Aeryn, I spent so long trying to figure out why you left. All I had were wormholes, Elack, Harvey, Pilot, and death and destruction. While you were out playing Che Gevera of the UTs, I died a thousand times over. I think we are even in the pain department. I need time to sort this out."

Aeryn shook her head, silently acknowledging John's confession. She could say nothing.

"And here we sit. You, me, and baby makes three. What are we going to do?" John continued to gently rub her hand with his thumb.



Aeryn whispered, ""Time, timing. It is always about time. You are unfair to say you hurt more than me and need time. I need time too, John. I need to think about my plans, our plans. I need to get this child tested. I need to make decisions..." Aeryn sighed with the unspoken stress. "Let's trust time."



John nodded as he gathered Aeryn's slightly shuddering shoulders into his arms, hugging her and spoke quietly, "Time, we have all the time in the world, baby. You and me. I know I can be there for you if you let me in. Baby makes three, not two Aeryn. Please."



Aeryn nodded into John's neck and closed her eyes. "Yes, baby makes three."



John felt the negative energy of the quantum forces gathering speed through his whole body and jerked abruptly away from Aeryn where she rested. "Damn! Talk about timing," John thought. John beat his hand on his comm badge and yelled, "Yo, Pilot wormhole in cinco minutos, man. I just had the conversions off kilter."



Aeryn rolled away from the agitated human and slowly shook her head. It was always the same, John and his bad timing. "Frell!" she thought. "Wormholes, always frelling wormholes. How could she compete with that?"



"Baby, I will wait, I swear I will. Just include me, okay? Time will tell." John's words echoed in the empty space. He had already left her quarters and she could still feel the rush of air where the privacy curtain swung with his rapid exit. He was off chasing dreams again. As was she.

Comments

Excellent revision!

That's Aeryn. :D No doubt about it. Way to go.

Fly safe,
Cathy