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endure

Intriguing

quite result
Quiet Girl


What kind of little girl were YOU?
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The above was snurched from unwritten_words and we seem to be twins again. I came out SIP too.

Today was a no good perfectly horrid awful day.

Started IV antibiotics and I don't think they are going to do the trick. I got a call from the school counselor about my 5th grader that she is not turning in her math homework and is easily upset. The counselor has known us since my 14 year old was in 1st grade and knows our situation, but my 10 year old won't talk about her stresses and anxieties. So, since H. is a perfectionist, we are trying the "no game boy and TV until homework is done" route and see where there takes us. Counselor suggested therapy for H. I'm not sure that would work because H. finds solice in books, science projects, talking maps and history with her dad and generally analyzing things. She gives me lectures about how my hair is growing back, and cancer, and all sorts of things. I think she'll be fine.

Started my older daughter in group therapy tonight. L. has AD/HD and needs some help with social skills now that she is in high school. She is much much better, but still has trouble with the tough girls. She is a very very young 14, which is alright by me, but gets her ostracized at school. So, I was assured that these kids, although some were learning disabled, were kind. I had explained to the facilitator that L. needed mentoring and role models. It turns out (and I hope I don't step on any toes here but I don't know how else to describe my upset) that they had placed my daughter in a group with severely learning disabled kids who are at the point of learning living skills, such as how to ride a bus or use money. How can L learn how to work with the extremely competitive kids at her high school in this group? I told L that I wanted her to work with kids who were difficult to work with more than ones who were so easy to become friends with. I hate myself for these feelings of one, failing my daughter, and two bascially prejudice against kids who are very very different. I do know I have to honor and serve my daughter's needs.

So tomorrow I have to work up the nerve to tell the facilitator that I'm pulling my daughter out. The lady told my husband tonight that she needed L in the group. My husband is a wimp and left it to me to do the tough stuff. sigh.

I think I'll go watch the last 20 minutes of the mini again and wallow.

Comments

that they had placed my daughter in a group with severely learning disabled kids who are at the point of learning living skills, such as how to ride a bus or use money.
They did the same thing to my sister in Jr High and High School. She has AD/HD and they put her in Special Ed classes with kids with Down Syndrome and such. It was an ongoing battle between my mom and the school for most of her years in the school and did quite a bit of damage to Emily's self-esteem. It didn't help, of course, that Emily's special mentor, assigned by the district, was an absolutely dreadful, hateful woman who had no patience with Emily and was rather emotionally abusive. Including telling Emily she was stupid.

My sister finally was fortunate enough to find a teacher who she respected and who encouraged her to take responsibilty and who gave her the respect she needed. He pulled all kinds of strings and got her into a very difficult to get into Tech/Trade school for several classes a week, if she promised to get passing grades in her regular school work. She did really, really well after that, she just needed somebody who'd be firm with her, but also patient.

It's surely not prejudice on your part to want your daughter to be in a group of kids with comparative situations. Lumping AD/HD in with other developmental problems is a disservice to kids with AD/HD and to kids with those other problems. Broad brushstrokes like that don't help anybody. It's unfair to kids like your daughter, and so damaging to self-esteem.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, too. {{{hugs}}}