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sg1 poke

Snippet 3

One last snippet for the night. I should finish this tomorrow. It has been a blast.

John ducked his head to avoid banging it on the low-lying lintel. He pushed Chiana’s head down just as she was about to follow suit. She nodded her head acknowledging the quick save as she stopped suddenly in the doorway and stared at the crowd of aliens who stood as if at attention around the smoky room. Frowning, John tapped their guide on the shoulder and whispered, “What’s with the welcoming committee?”

The Koteshi seemed to grin showing blackened pointed teeth and a very thin pointed tongue that he used to quickly lick his thin lips. “Ah, my lovely Chiana wished to see how we remain so young. I will show her and her esteemed companion. Come, see for yourself the goddess in the pool. Bathe in her loving embrace. Taste her essence. Become young again.”

John backed away from the stench that accosted his nose. He was not sure why he hadn’t noticed it or the bubbling slurping sounds that emanated from deeper in the room. Chiana pulled at his arm, stopping him in his retreat. “Crichton, didn’t I tell you this would be drad. It could be the solution to your problem. You know, the gray hair thing you don’t want anybody to notice that you are upset about?”

John shook his head mutely as he began to here chanting in a sort of gargling throaty baratone.

“Old man, it’s just mud. The Koteshi says it is warm and very comfortable. It’s just the thing to turn tired old bones young again. Don’t you want to have as many years as possible with Aeryn? With us?”

John turned away, his body already swaying from the heat and smell. He was definitely too drunk. He was even contemplating this spa from hell. Nah, nope, not gonna do this.” His better, more rational side was finally resurfacing from his drunken stuper. “Pip, I know there are no secrets on Moya, but this is definitely not the solution. Nothing can make me take a swim in here. Nothing.”

The Koteshi stood waiting now tapping his webbed foot with impatience. “The gentle being is being given a very large gift. We will not wait long for his decision. But you cannot leave this place if you do not partake. Our secret is sacred.”

“Pip, not leave? Nobody said anything about not leaving,” John yelled at Chiana as six larger and noticeably well-armed Koteshi suddenly appeared in front of the door blocking their exit.

“Crichton, I-I didn’t know anything about this. Honest. Let’s just do this thing and they’ll let us leave. Look, take the honor. Do the swim. It is for your benefit.”

John sighed as he once again met his old friends rock and hard place. He turned to Chiana while the lithe fingers of several Koteshi stripped him down to his underwear.
“Chi, his friends better not hold up rings and whisper ‘my precious’ or I’m outta here, Ponce de Leon be damned.”

Chiana lounged on the side of the gurgling pool and watched as John slowly lowered himself into the slime-filled mess. Each plop of a bubble brought the smell of rotten death and destruction to her nostrils. Lucky that Crichton’s nose was more deficient, she thought to herself. Chiana didn’t know if she would have the nerve to swim in that muck. Rygel would just love this place, she thought as she tried to hide a smile from her grimacing friend.

John shivered in the hot soup as he lay on his back and floated. Waves of brown putrescence cascaded over his shoulders and splashed into his eyes and nose. He gagged and struggled as dozens of small hands pushed his head and body down under the mud. He felt himself loosing consciousness but was suddenly released in the nick of time. He bounded upwards with a squishing splash and gasped the methane-reeking air. “What the frell! Chiana, nobody said this was John the Baptist time, here. Let me out now.”

“No, gentle being. If you leave now, you will die. Do you not feel the glorious mud sapping your energies, pulling your age out of your bones. Sixteen arns must you stay soaking. Six tumblers of special nutrients must you drink to become whole.” The leading Koteshi (not that John could tell them apart from where he struggled in the arms of six burly amphibians) signaled to one of its servants who waited by the side of the pool close to where Chiana lay struggling to hold in her whoops of laughter.


I've got to catch my breath from laughing so hard. Oh this is priceless. You and the bunnies need a pat on the back. Sleep now but be back to work on this tomorrow or I'll go wabbit hunting with pointy stick.
Sometimes I just want to slap Chi. Argghg! I know this is going south fast, and I just know John is going to get blamed for it. Sheesh.
oh john is in serious deep dren. er, no pun intended. *g*